I listen to what people say
In my profession, I listen to what people say. How they say it, the words they use. This gives me a very good indication of where they are at. The more negative the words and phrases, the more inclined they are to look at life from a glass half empty perspective. In fact, their general approach is “I am a victim”. They don’t necessarily hear it, however their words and actions show this to the world. To them, life’s a struggle.
People gravitate to the negative
It seems to be human nature for people to gravitate to the negative. I can’t, it’s difficult, everything is a struggle and so many more negatives, often before they have even attempted a solution.
Why is this?
I believe that our society has created people who are problem focused, not solution driven. Look at any workplace, if something goes wrong the knee jerk reaction is to point fingers and find a scape- goat, not find a solution or set a procedure in place to prevent the same thing from happening again. No, somebody has to pay!
If we look at society at large, focus is on past atrocities, not future possibilities. And then the negative emotions that are dragged from the past are used to colour everything in the present and the future. I think this is so sad, given the possibilities that are available to anyone, if they are willing to put in the work.
Why are we not rather looking at what we can learn from every event in our lives? Why when so many great leaders show us how positivity can change lives, we choose to ignore it?
Take lessons from adversity
There is no straight forward answer as so much of it is about conditioning of the mind. It is however time to stop. Instead of bemoaning the fates, take lessons from adversity. Instead of condemning yourself or a situation use it as a learning experience. Instead of pointing fingers, work together to solve the problem. If life feels as if it is getting too much, ask for help. It’s a whole lot easier than you think.
Constantly using negative emotive language does nothing more than emphasise a negative emotional state, this allows you to spiral even further down into the life of struggle. Stop! You have spent so much time being negative and telling yourself negative stories, it hasn’t worked….try changing those thoughts, you really have nothing to lose.
Yes, life is not easy at times.
It teaches you lessons sometimes you wish you didn’t have to learn. Circumstances can dramatically change the course of your life. It happens. It’s what you do with this that makes you stronger, wiser and more capable as a person.
Have you noticed that the same thing keeps happening to you? It quite possibly is. Why? You have most likely focused on the negative each time and not looked for the positive learning. Effectively, until you literally look for the silver lining, acknowledge what you can learn, the negative is going to follow you. You are what you think most about.
How to change your mindset
Take the next few weeks to be consciously aware of how you form the conversation with yourself and others. Look at how you see life in general. What can you change? How can you be kinder and more loving towards yourself? What can you learn?
How do you do this?
Pause before you speak. Take a breath, realise what you are about to day and consciously change it. A friend of mine uses a quaint technique when she has a negative thought…she says to herself “delete, delete, delete”. Try it, it really does work.
As for lessons, when something goes pear shaped, look at it from the perspective of a lesson. Answer this question; What can I learn? Be honest with yourself. Acknowledge that you have made a mistake and learnt from it.
Life is not meant to be a struggle; it is the most amazing teacher of compassion and love. Believing in silver linings and that good will save the day does not mean that you get to ignore reality. It means that you choose to look at the positive, you choose to learn from your mistakes, you choose to live a life where the glass is half full.
Life is an extreme sport. Live it. Love it.